If I let my dog on the furniture or sleep on my bed, he’ll think he’s dominant over me.
I’m sounding the Mutt Myth Alert!! Let’s bust this myth one piece at a time.
First, no one can look inside a dog’s head and read his thoughts. My dog Vinnie sometimes sleeps in my bed. When he’s snoozing there he looks peaceful and comfortable, but I have no idea what he’s thinking. Neither does anyone else.
“Dominance” is a term that’s misunderstood, misinterpreted and misused rampantly in discussions of dog behavior. In ethology (the scientific study of behavior), dominance refers to “priority access to a limited resource,” and is dependent on context and the distribution of resources. This is not what most people have in mind when they say their dogs are trying to dominate them.
In my experience, what folks usually mean when they say their dogs are trying to dominate them, is, Fido isn’t doing what I want him to do, or, If I let Fido do X, he’ll try to control me.
Let’s take a common sense look at this notion of “dominance as control.” As expert dog trainer and founder of the SF-SPCA Academy for Dog Trainers Jean Donaldson points out, humans control everything dogs need and want in life – food, water, playtime, walks, medical care, companionship, affection, access to other dogs, shelter, sleeping spots, and ultimately, life and death. Given that, who’s dominating whom? Who’s really in control? Here’s a hint – it’s not the dogs.
Though we can’t read dogs’ minds, we can observe their behavior. What’s more, we can manipulate the environment, resources, and consequences to get dogs to behave in ways we like and want to see more of. Simply put, dogs can be trained, undesirable behaviors can be changed, and at the end of the day, much of our dogs’ behavior is up to us.
Sleeping on a human bed is surely far more comfortable than sleeping in a crate or on the floor. When Vin lounges on my bed, he’s rewarded immediately by softness and comfort. Because sleeping on the bed is inherently rewarding to him, every nap on the bed sets him up to nap on the bed more frequently in the future.
There’s no scientific evidence showing that bed snoozes will make Vinnie want to control me, nor that they cause dogs to behave badly. Dogs do behaviors that work to get them what they want. I’d bet lots of money that Vinnie likes sleeping on the bed because it feels good.
Even if he secretly wants to be my boss, the reality is that he’s only allowed on the bed if it’s OK with the humans in the home. Each dog guardian gets to decide what behavior is acceptable from her dog. Some people don’t care if their dogs pull on leash. Others don’t mind if their dogs beg under the table during dinner. I don’t mind if Vinnie sleeps on my bed; in fact, I like it.
Comfy or trying to seize control?
If I were to decide that Vinnie could never again be on the bed, I could implement that change easily. I’d manage the environment to prevent him from getting on the bed – i.e., keep the bedroom door closed or install a baby gate across the door.
I’d also make his sleeping spot more attractive and comfortable. I could put blankets and a crate pad in his crate, or get him a nice plush dog bed.
He’s already trained to get off of beds and furniture when we ask him to, so if I were to find him on my bed, I’d ask him to get down and direct him to his comfy crate/dog bed.
With consistent practice, he’d learn that whenever he gets on the bed I’m going to ask him to get off and go to his own bed. Dogs are economical in how they spend their energies and creatures of habit; in time, he’d stop getting on the bed as often and instead, go to his own bed.
I suppose Vinnie could be plotting to dominate me. He’s a clever guy. When he wants to play tug, he brings his toy to me, drops it rather dramatically at my feet, and sits there and stares at me for a while. If I look at him, he picks up the tug toy and tries to put it in my lap. Sometimes after all that, I get up and play tug with him, but that’s when I feel like it, when I have the time and the energy, and according to my rules. When we’re finished, he likes to go to my bed and take a nap. I see him, smile, and think he looks adorable.
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IMPORTANT NOTE: Some dogs behave possessively around furniture and sleeping locations. This sort of behavior, known as resource guarding, is normal dog behavior, and doesn’t arise from letting dogs sleep on beds. It’s a common behavior that many dogs come pre-programmed with and is an advantage in the wild. Dogs that guard food, sleeping locations, and other resources have a better shot at surviving. Resource guarding presents safety risks for humans; fortunately, it’s a behavior that can be changed through positive training. If your dog growls/behaves aggressively when you approach him when he’s on the bed, on other furniture, or when he’s eating or playing with toys, punishing or trying to “show him who’s boss” is dangerous and will make his behavior worse. Instead, consult with a good positive reinforcement trainer as soon as possible.
Would you like your dog to walk politely on a loose leash? To come when called? To stop raiding your kitchen counters for food? Need help with potty training your puppy? Or maybe you'd like advice before you adopt a dog?
